Over the Holidays, I found myself attending quite a few family gatherings and having conversations with relatives I hadn’t seen in forever.

Most of my relatives were curious about my passion for helping parents develop their own Parenting Personalities. A vocal few of them, however, were extremely skeptical and kept asking questions like “When did being a parent turn into “parenting” and what’s the big deal?” My Uncle Hal insisted that his formula for successful “parenting” was making his kids play outside as much as possible so they’d use up all their energy. He also had made sure his wife, my Aunt Edie, gave them castor oil every day. That may help explain why my cousins were a tad weird!

As a father of 33 years and a pediatrician for 40 years, my life has been blessedly full of kids. I reflect a lot on parenting and whether or not it should be a “big deal.” Why are there so many books on the subject and countless blogs about parenting today? Are people needing more insight today than my Uncle Hal and Aunt Edie did or is parenting that much more complex and difficult?

To me, both as a father and a doctor, it’s pretty clear that parenting is important. Bringing a life into this world is a big deal. And the responsibility that accompanies it is monumental. It’s important to influence a developing mind. It’s important to instill balance, values, and understanding. It’s important to provide a safe, warm, loving environment. It’s important to offer every opportunity to thrive.

There is no blueprint on how to exactly to accomplish this. No owners’ manual that accompanies your child. How we perform this important goal of parenting is up to each individual but I think we’re lucky and blessed to be living in a world where it’s so easy to share our knowledge with each other, whether it’s through books, blogs, social media, or any of the many ways the community of parents has grown larger.

When I was growing up there was no internet, which means my mother only had her family, her pediatrician and local friends to turn to for advice. Remember Aunt Edie and her castor oil – thank God my mom didn’t follow that advice!

In the end though, whether you’re getting advice from close friends and family or the entire community of parenting and “mommy” bloggers, each parent, child, and situation is unique. Understanding yourself, growing with your child, and developing your own Parenting Personality is paramount. Read about parenting from sources you like. Ask questions of parents you trust and admire. But develop your own unique style for this wondrous experience.

It’s hard when friends and relatives – and sometimes strangers – question your beliefs, your actions, and your parenting style. Remember that it’s pretty hard to go wrong if each of your parenting decisions is based on love, respect, and positivity. But if you’re in doubt, just Google “parenting.” It is a pretty big deal and that’s great for our kids, who get the benefit of better informed, more confident, loving parents!

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A scene from the film August: Osage County