The “Working Mom Blues” Hits A Higher Note

Working Moms have a difficult challenge trying to balance career with raising a child the way they ideally want to. Fatigue, frustration, guilt and feeling under-appreciated leave many women singing The Working Mom Blues.

One of the most plaintive refrains of The Working Mom Blues is that they believe that the fact that they’re  working is essentially bad for their child. In fact, a full third of Americans believe that the best thing for children is to have a mother who does NOT work, while only 16% say a Mom who works full time is best. That’s a whole lot of guilt for working Moms to be contemplating!

But is this common assuDonna_Reed_Show_02mption – that Working Moms hurt their child’s development – really true? Or is it a throwback to idealized black & white TV shows where Moms stayed home wearing an apron and a smile, preparing meals for perfectly-behaved kids, while the sole bread-winner – Dad – left every morning with a briefcase? (And isn’t it ironic that the actresses who played those Moms were all working mothers themselves?)

How Working Moms impact their children is, admittedly, not an easy question to answer. The studies are complicated, given all the variables that affect child development. Researchers can’t do a double blind experiment, so how much is correlation and how much is true causation?

Yet analyzing the studies that have been done, there is no real evidence that women working hurts their children’s development. In a review of 50 years of research that appears in the Psychological Bulletin, a peer-reviewed publication of the American Psychological Association, there was little evidence to suggest mothers who worked part-time or full-time have children who experience more problems in later life.

I think it is time we cut Working Moms some slack and give them the credit they deserve for their tremendous contributions to their children, families and job.

And it’s my hope that Working Moms will realize that the assumptions are false, that there is no such thing as “perfect parenting,” and that children thrive based on the quality, not the quantity, of attention they get from parents and caregivers.

We all do our best, especially Working Moms who do double duty, and studies show that the children of Working Moms who do the best that they can do just as well as the children of non-working Moms who do the best that they can!

My guess is that Working Moms will still sing the Blues sometimes. But, knowing that your effort is worth the trials and tribulations lets you raise your voice to hit those high notes as well, the high notes you so richly deserve.

This song’s for you!